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We didn’t share this with a lot of people but we got an email on Christmas Eve Eve from our adoption referral asking if we would be interested in adopting an 18 month old boy. We needed to submit our portfolio immediately. I responded immediately with YES! YES! YES! We put our portfolio together in 3 hours and submitted it. And it was a kick butt portfolio! Gosh, it is nice to have a designer at my beckon call. I do sometimes just come up with these random ideas and Greg makes these ideas look fancy.

But Anyway, Christmas weekend was a shaky weekend for us. I was forever by my phone waiting for a call whether or not she picked us.

I got another call 4 days later saying the birth mom had not decided and she will keep her child. And so we continue to pray for this little boy. That his mother will love him and God will direct his heart to Him.

It is a funny feeling of waiting for someone to choose you to parent their child. My heart breaks for this little boy. What does his future hold? What are the circumstances of this adoption? My heart breaks for his mother. Gosh, what a decision to make!  And my heart breaks for myself as well as the other couples who were considered. This is a hard process because it starts with loss. While we are so excited about adopting, our hearts continue to break for birth mothers who have to make these decisions because it is a completely selfless one. Through the few days of waiting we had peace. We continue to have peace that God is sovereign. And He was. And He is.

We continue to wait. We continue to pray. We will submit our portfolio in January. We are so thankful that we get to adopt. We aren’t sure why God wants us to walk this path but we continue to even though we are so undeserving. We are still raising money for our adoption. To be honest we are walking blind financially. I know how much we have. It isn’t enough. But I know that God will provide. This is a time I will never forget – this complete dependence on God. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything in the world.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We did – on Christmas we bounce from house to house but we love it that way. Our life never lacks adventure 🙂

Right now some of our best friends Tim and Jen are doing a raffle for our adoption. Head on over to her blog if you want to be a part of it or go to her facebook page. Keep watching adoption is good – there will be more to come in the New Year! Thank you Willis’! I am honored and so thankful for this.

A virtual Merry Christmas from the Sykes!

No no no, nothing bad has happened. We are still in the waiting stage of our adoption and raising money – more on that here (  This is still a Christmas of longing. Awaiting God’s answer to a plea.  I will never forget last Christmas where I wanted to forget about Christmas all together. We didn’t get a Christmas tree and I worked as hard as I could so I could watch the holidays pass. I will never forget last year – as my heart ached for what I had lost and still aches for our sweet babies who are in heaven. I don’t say this for sympathy but as a reminder to myself that Christmas is a hard time of year for so many – loss of children, parents, family, friends, homes or jobs and the “holiday spirit” seems to sometimes worsen that.

So if that is you – you are not alone. We have a Christmas tree this year, but this year there are tears of longing that we are not Home yet, tears that some people we love are already Home. I don’t know if anyone finds comfort in that but sometimes it is nice to know that you aren’t the only one. I don’t want to sound bitter – this is not bitterness – this is longing for our redemption.

Here are a few blogs that I follow that are a reminder of longing during the holidays, well longing in general. I don’t mean to bring gloominess into the holidays but just a reminder that Christmas isn’t about all the happy blogs, the wonderful facebook posts, and everything else that “looks” pretty and put together – it is about a God who longed to have us in His arms forever and broke His own heart for us. It is about redemption and hope…and here’s to that!

Molly Piper

Practical Theology for Women

And a song that I have held close to my heart during a season of longing:

Sweet Sorrow

1. Oh sweet sorrow, on the heels of my reckless soul

Oh sweet sorrow,

Flooding all around me now,  red sea rising to my shoulders

Where we walked across dry land—so long ago.

2.  Oh sweet mercy, your love letter it bleeds my pride.

Oh sweet mercy,

Now I’ve sold all you gave, other lovers could not save me

But you are kind and strong and will not leave me to die.

3.  Oh sweet redemption

Smell the burning incense fire

Oh sweet redemption

Least of these, a chosen few, raise the mighty from the fool

Your ways are not like mine—they are much higher.

words and music by SANDRA MCCRACKEN. © 2010 DRINK YOUR TEA MUSIC (ASCAP), admin. by SIMPLEVILLE MUSIC, inc. All rights reserved.  Used by permission.

While I wait impatiently and just don’t quite understand why building a famiy is so difficult for us I find comfort that nothing was easy for our Saviour either and as I experience pain and waiting I grow closer to the One who will eventually call me Home:

“A stable was not where Joseph wanted to be that night. It held no romance for him. He was only there out of desperation.

But the stable was not about Joseph or Mary. It was about the Son of God making himself nothing (Philippians 2:7). He had come to humble himself to unfathomable depths. So he borrowed a stable for his birth. Later, after an excruciating death to make propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:10), he would borrow a tomb (Matthew 27:59–60).

And in that is a Christmas word to us. There are times, while seeking to follow God faithfully, we find ourselves in a desperate moment, forced to a place we would not choose to go. It’s then we must remember: we are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19–20).

Our lives and circumstances are not ultimately about us. They are about Jesus Christ. The Father has purposes for us and our hardships that extend far beyond us. And often what appears like a misfortune or a lack of provision in the moment later proves to be a means of great mercy.

So maybe what we need most this Christmas is not less turmoil, but more trust. For God chooses stables of desperation as the birthplaces of his overwhelming grace” –A Stable of Desperation, Desiring God.