We didn’t share this with a lot of people but we got an email on Christmas Eve Eve from our adoption referral asking if we would be interested in adopting an 18 month old boy. We needed to submit our portfolio immediately. I responded immediately with YES! YES! YES! We put our portfolio together in 3 hours and submitted it. And it was a kick butt portfolio! Gosh, it is nice to have a designer at my beckon call. I do sometimes just come up with these random ideas and Greg makes these ideas look fancy.

But Anyway, Christmas weekend was a shaky weekend for us. I was forever by my phone waiting for a call whether or not she picked us.

I got another call 4 days later saying the birth mom had not decided and she will keep her child. And so we continue to pray for this little boy. That his mother will love him and God will direct his heart to Him.

It is a funny feeling of waiting for someone to choose you to parent their child. My heart breaks for this little boy. What does his future hold? What are the circumstances of this adoption? My heart breaks for his mother. Gosh, what a decision to make!  And my heart breaks for myself as well as the other couples who were considered. This is a hard process because it starts with loss. While we are so excited about adopting, our hearts continue to break for birth mothers who have to make these decisions because it is a completely selfless one. Through the few days of waiting we had peace. We continue to have peace that God is sovereign. And He was. And He is.

We continue to wait. We continue to pray. We will submit our portfolio in January. We are so thankful that we get to adopt. We aren’t sure why God wants us to walk this path but we continue to even though we are so undeserving. We are still raising money for our adoption. To be honest we are walking blind financially. I know how much we have. It isn’t enough. But I know that God will provide. This is a time I will never forget – this complete dependence on God. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything in the world.