You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June 2013.

I wanted to do this before my man turned one so here are things you have done this month or things that we LOVE about you!

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1. You want to be just like dad. You are obsessed with him. If he isn’t home you get in your stroller and look at me like we should go see him. We went to the lake the other day while he was fishing and came home early and you immediately grabbed your toy fishing rod and started to cast. It was the cutest. You just stood in your corner and tried to fish. Then you took your fishing rod and sat in the stroller and waited for me to take you back out there. When we pick you up at daycare and you see dad, you started screaming da da and just bypass me and get to dad.

2. I am not certain about this but I think you are the wildest kid at your daycare…and there are a lot of kids in daycare. As we were leaving the daycare teacher looked at me and said “Everyone here knows Emerson. He is so adventurous.” Me: “You mean wild right?” Daycare teacher: “We’ll just say adventurous.” Call it what you want to lady – I get the point. Apparently yesterday you went head first down the slide. I may sound like I am complaining but I love it. I love your energy. I love that I could eventually have a running partner. About a year ago I was so sad that our house was so quiet…our house is no longer quiet hommie.

3. This month you stood up on your own and started running. on the concrete and falling on your face. You had your first bloody nose this month.

4. You get so giggly before bedtime. You just lean your headback and laugh and laugh. It is my favorite time of the day.

5. We no longer need toys. Just pots and pans and anything else that makes noise. You take your tiny little piano thing everywhere with you.

6. Your wavy curly hair is the bomb.  Tha’s right, I just said the bomb. I want your hair on my head. We are struggling to figure out how to make sure it doesn’t dry but I just want to run my hands through it all the time. Seriously. The best.

7. You love being around people. Our house seems to be a never ending line of people dropping by, spending the night or just hanging out and you think they are all here to see you. You sit in the middle of the room and soak up the attention or you run to our guests for them to cuddle you.

8. When you walk your little booty shakes and you stick out your belly. Sigh…I could watch that all day.

9. You will finally fall asleep in your carseat again. HOORAY!

10. You are fearless. You will jump in the pool to mom. You run up the street. You want to walk down the stairs. While these are all dangerous things,  I hope that adventure carries with you as you grow up. I hope that fear never holds you back.

11. Your dad and I are always your home base. You will go play with your toys and walk away for a few minutes and you’ll look at me and then walk over to me and rest your head on my chest like you just needed a hug. Sometimes you will even roll around on us for a while. It’s the best.

I love ya little man. After putting you to bed the other day I walked down the stairs and looked at our living room and there were colorful toys everywhere. Kiddo, you have put color (and noise) in our world. You so crazy.

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When Greg and I began the adoption process we met with many different people who had adopted and been adopted. I remember one woman we met with talked about her open adoption and my mouth literally dropped. Gosh, she had a lot of grace because I asked all the wrong questions with all the wrong words. Now with what I know, I am sure unknowingly I spoke that entire conversation with my foot in my mouth.

Needless to say, Greg and I left that conversation and decided that open adoption was not for us.  It didn’t seem natural. In fact, I think every meeting we had about adoption we left saying it wasn’t for us. It didn’t feel natural…luckily God doesn’t care about what this world thinks is natural or what I think feels natural. And now most of the time I don’t give a damn what this world thinks is natural.

As we began the adoption process and we learned about these  women who were carrying these kiddos we realized that maybe we could do open adoption. We knew that not only did we want to build a family, but that adoption is so much bigger than bringing home our kiddo – it was an avenue to love on more people. I love that God is a God of relationships and that Jesus came and built relationships because it just seemed “natural” to build a relationship with these women. Some liked us – some didn’t.  But we met an amazing women who was carrying our amazing kid. We still pray for her daily and know that open adoption in this case, is the way for us.

We love this lady and are honored she wants to be apart of our life.  From the moment we met her we just all made sense – the three of us were supposed to love this little guy that Greg and I were lucky enough to raise. I know adoption starts with loss and that adoption isn’t God’s original plan but when I think of Greg, “M” (Emerson’s birthmom) and myself I just think this is a story of redemption and the three of us are supposed to be a team, ya know? Like she was just supposed to be apart of our life – and she is our family. I know this probably sounds complicated but it isn’t. I am Em’s mom and I am confident in that but I also know that Em’s birthmom needs to play a part in his story as well for him, for her and for us.

I am not doing anything good or great here but I just wanted to share our story in case anyone else is going through the adoption process and felt like we did a few years ago. And maybe a lot of people’s mouths will drop and that’s OK – ours did a few years ago. We were scared of open adoption and to be honest when we adopt again it will scare me all over again. It’s just the unknown. Just like when you are pregnant and you are scared you will birth a horny toad baby with nine fingers – during my pregnancies I may have been scared of that. But I am learning over and over that there is so much more than this world and that bigger plan is just better. But we were scared of open adoption and we just do it now. It is just part of our life – I don’t know life any other way. Also, sharing about open adoption is scary for me…it is just so personal. I have received many hurtful questions about open adoption that it makes me kind of clam up – but I think it is important to talk about. So while I am open about the status of our adoption I will not share much more about her.

Also, know that open adoption is not the way for everyone. I know it’s hard and sometimes it just can’t happen. So I get that and I should never be a spokesperson for anything because I live with my foot in my mouth.

*This picture has absolutely nothing to do with open adoption just ya know an evening of putting our pants on our heads.